Now I feel good, but not good enough, but still I can handle myself, period. I feel like my heart has already stopped bleeding, somehow. I feel like there is nothing can hurt me anymore, weird, but that is how it is. But one thing for sure, I am a little bit afraid to love or like someone, cause that's the last thing I would do nowadays.
I should enjoy my life for the time being. I am still 19 years old, still young. I am free to do whatever I want to. This is my life, I am enjoying this. Pain and frustration is a part of life, like or not, I have to deal with it sooner or later.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Moving on again
Wasted my time, now I'm moving on again. I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired is all I ever say this year. I'm so sick of it, I'm so sick of trusting, I am so sick of loving the person who never knew how to appreciate others. Well I'm done.
I forgive and most importantly, forgetting about you. Yeah, you're nothing now. Don't expect me to stick with you forever. When you left, I go away far away from you. It'll make me stronger, this blog? Well, its just for fun. This is my life, I love to write things that came across to my mind.
I hope that someday I will end up with a good girlfriend, who would never hurt me. This of course, I would take a good care of her. Until the end of world I will love her. But yeah, those are just my dreams. This is reality, things like that will never happen.
I forgive and most importantly, forgetting about you. Yeah, you're nothing now. Don't expect me to stick with you forever. When you left, I go away far away from you. It'll make me stronger, this blog? Well, its just for fun. This is my life, I love to write things that came across to my mind.
I hope that someday I will end up with a good girlfriend, who would never hurt me. This of course, I would take a good care of her. Until the end of world I will love her. But yeah, those are just my dreams. This is reality, things like that will never happen.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Scars
Another night full of scars, this time, oh yes it got me really good. I don't trust you anymore, I put my hopes too high and this is what I get. Thank you for wasting my time, no I am not gonna curse anyone cause I still have some respect. We're over, and it better stay that way so you can never hurt me anymore.
Honestly, I am glad it's over, I'm just too tired of hoping, I am waiting for you to end this. Even though it left me with tons of scars beyond you can even imagine. Well thank you again my dear, honestly, you don't even qualified to be called my girlfriend. But whatever! It ended, there is no turning back.
Like I said earlier, you can bet on this, I will never look for you. I don't even cared about whatever happened to you, just thank you very much for giving me those scars, do I need more from you? No! The only and one last thing I'm asking you is to leave me alone.
Goodbye my so called lover, we may never meet again, we shall never talk again we shall never be together again. Us staying as a friend? Let me think about it, nahhh, you'll hurt me anyway. So, goodbye.
Honestly, I am glad it's over, I'm just too tired of hoping, I am waiting for you to end this. Even though it left me with tons of scars beyond you can even imagine. Well thank you again my dear, honestly, you don't even qualified to be called my girlfriend. But whatever! It ended, there is no turning back.
Like I said earlier, you can bet on this, I will never look for you. I don't even cared about whatever happened to you, just thank you very much for giving me those scars, do I need more from you? No! The only and one last thing I'm asking you is to leave me alone.
Goodbye my so called lover, we may never meet again, we shall never talk again we shall never be together again. Us staying as a friend? Let me think about it, nahhh, you'll hurt me anyway. So, goodbye.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Back to where we started
Same situation is always the same, no matter I like it or not, this is my love life. Those so called "loved ones" seemed to always kick my ass. And yes it really got me really good. When will I ever stop falling into their traps? Whenever I started to love them, they keep on hurting me every single freaking time! Urgh I just can't take it anymore.
Was love is too much to ask? Was attention is too much to ask? Does it hurt anyone to make me feel appreciated again? Does it kills anyone if I said I love you? Maybe God has something better than me. Or maybe it's destined that I will never feel how it is to feel appreciated again.
Should I stop waiting or should I wait for a little longer? I can't decide, both hurts. But whatever. Oh its Valentine again, yay! Congratulations Muizz for 19 years in a row for not having any partners for Valentines. Yay me! Somebody just kill me quickly, I can't take it anymore.
Was love is too much to ask? Was attention is too much to ask? Does it hurt anyone to make me feel appreciated again? Does it kills anyone if I said I love you? Maybe God has something better than me. Or maybe it's destined that I will never feel how it is to feel appreciated again.
Should I stop waiting or should I wait for a little longer? I can't decide, both hurts. But whatever. Oh its Valentine again, yay! Congratulations Muizz for 19 years in a row for not having any partners for Valentines. Yay me! Somebody just kill me quickly, I can't take it anymore.
Working on "us"
Come on, this is our 1st month, and I don't know where are we going, sometimes we're close and guess what? Most of the time, I feel like a dummy who sits around and wait for something good will happen. And guess again. Nothing happened.
I love getting my heart crushed every single day, I love this mixed feelings, I love getting frustrated over and over again. Don't you think its about time to end this? Don't you think that we should do something that'll work "us" out? I've done everything that I could think of, sometimes it'll make me look desperate. But I don't care, despite that some of my friend said to let you go. But I didn't listen to them cause I knew that we could work things out.
But am I wrong? I am starting to doubt every single thing about you, yes I am still your boyfriend, but my trust is something you have to earn. And I don't like getting torn to pieces. You hardly ever called me, look, I am not being ego shit crap, but I am just hoping that you'd call time to time. I am still waiting, until now.
I love getting my heart crushed every single day, I love this mixed feelings, I love getting frustrated over and over again. Don't you think its about time to end this? Don't you think that we should do something that'll work "us" out? I've done everything that I could think of, sometimes it'll make me look desperate. But I don't care, despite that some of my friend said to let you go. But I didn't listen to them cause I knew that we could work things out.
But am I wrong? I am starting to doubt every single thing about you, yes I am still your boyfriend, but my trust is something you have to earn. And I don't like getting torn to pieces. You hardly ever called me, look, I am not being ego shit crap, but I am just hoping that you'd call time to time. I am still waiting, until now.
I'm holding on
You hear me? Yes I am holding on, I don't really care about what others will think about us, I'll hold on, you're too precious for me. Baby, can't you see me standing in front of you? Can't you see that I am willing to carry all the responsibility behind my back? Can't you tell who would love you until the end? This is not being cheesy, this is just me stating the facts that you fail to see.
It's not easy for me to get into a relationship honestly, cause I'm just too afraid "this" would happen again, and it seems that it already does. But I don't care, I am willing to take the pain again just to see you smile. Hey, people said that, "no pain no gain" right? So, this is my pain I guess. Baby, stop living in your fantasy, this is reality, everything isn't easy. Life never been too easy, trust me. I've been here before.
I'm waiting for you to say something that'll make me feel appreciated again. Its been so long. Bear in mind that someday, when I have stopped hoping something would happen, I'll be gone before you know it. Oh yes you can bet on it. But don't expect it'll be sooner or later, it can happen anytime.
It's not easy for me to get into a relationship honestly, cause I'm just too afraid "this" would happen again, and it seems that it already does. But I don't care, I am willing to take the pain again just to see you smile. Hey, people said that, "no pain no gain" right? So, this is my pain I guess. Baby, stop living in your fantasy, this is reality, everything isn't easy. Life never been too easy, trust me. I've been here before.
I'm waiting for you to say something that'll make me feel appreciated again. Its been so long. Bear in mind that someday, when I have stopped hoping something would happen, I'll be gone before you know it. Oh yes you can bet on it. But don't expect it'll be sooner or later, it can happen anytime.
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